I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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