I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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