You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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