Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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