was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
