I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
