I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
