...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
