i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
