Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
