I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
