Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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