How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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