worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
