Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
