I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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