Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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