On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
