I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
