You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
