Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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