Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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