I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
