i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
