Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
