She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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