So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.