Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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