why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
