Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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