I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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