Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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