so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
