these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
