Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I'm really busy with my period
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