i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Congratulations! We have a period
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
