what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
