Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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