So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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