Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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