Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
