Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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