turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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