Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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