I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize