just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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