She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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