but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
