she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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