Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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