it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize