cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize