I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
