I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Randomize
