But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
