We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
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After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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