I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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