I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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