can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
