i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
