Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Found the puke drawer
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
