Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
