i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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