College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just pee around me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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