Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
